PRICELESS MOMENTS



Some time back I was playing the song"Tanha Dil" of Shaan, and immidiately my mind was transported to a few weeks back(Aug 4) to be precise, of my trip to Hyderabad.It was raining heavily and was incessant, though the heaviness towards the evening made a see saw between a drizzle and a downpour.I obviously didnt anticipate the rains, so I was caught unawares. No Auto was willing to ply between IMAX theatre and the Nampally station, so I had to walk it across to the station which took me close to an hour in the rains.I had to walk across this lovely stretch of the Hussain sagar lake for about half an hour, when the dampened mood of the rains and water all over was revived when my walkman played "Tanha Dil".It was a lovely feeling walking across the lake,with music blaring in your ears, giving you a feeling that the whole city can hear the music. Though "Tanha Dil" isnt exactly a rain song you would assosiate with Movies,I simply loved the walk,across the Hussain Sagar lake along with my friend Kishore.

To Summarize

Auto from Nampally to GachiBowli-150 bucks
Movie at Imax- -180 bucks
Relaxed walk across the Lake with some music-Priceless 

Travel Blues

One thing that I have observed over my travel plans in the recent past is that, whatever I plan for a trip to a unknown place, half the plans go kaput, simply because there are other interesting things that one can opt for at the place where we go,which we were not aware of.That shows an interesting piece of data, that most places in detail are not covered properly by one source,even though Outlook Traveller seems exhaustive, there's more to it than what meets the eye.So lets say, if i need to cover the best places in a given area in a given time frame, I am simply not able to do taht and plan judiciously sitting at home, simply because of lack of information.Lets take for example my last trip to this sleepy western town of kumta and Gokarna,which I had planned extensively from journals on google,but there was a lot more to the place that could be seen or summed up.For example I thought there were only- 2-3 decent hotels there, but there were some lovely ones right on the beach, which I knew only after some extensive mountain trekking to reach that end of the beach at Kudle.

All one needs is a backpackers travel agent who also provides the high end luxury travellers,as if someone undertakes this massive operations of giving directions and planning the logistics for backpackers also, I feel this could be a burgeoning market that still lies untapped. The net return from such a transaction of a 100 rs per night shack, for the travel operator can be less, but if he can do enough marketing to increase volumes,this might just prove to be lucrative business for him.

I encountered this difficulty even more, when I was planning my trip to Goa , late last night with the help of Google and Outlook traveller.As of now its a pretty consrvative plan,as I dont know about the other places that may/may not be accesible to northern Goa. I am actually thinking, if I have the money and I can form a team of tourists, then this a lovely business,which apart from the money provides the backpack traveller a lot of options to choose from.

Hmm Any Venture capitalist seeing this blog, ping me :-)

Love me /Love me not

These days I seem to be wonderstruck by the relative instability and complex issues that come in way of a relationship.A relationship and the variables that play a huge part seem to be tougher to decipher than fermats last theorem.Though I dont exactly play "loveline" as Malaika Arora does, but I do get to hear snippets of gossip from the horse's mouth, I have seen some very interesting observations over the last 2-3 years.Whatever has been gathered here has been more so compiled from all the observations and inputs observed by me and some of my close friends, over last week's college re union.Some day when I experience it fully, I'd certainly be able to throw more light, but anyway here are some observations.

1) Majority girls in Chennai, behave as if hormones never existed in them, and they need to stand for the election of the most "virtued girl" even though their mind must be harbouring a thousand "evil"(as they call it) thoughts.

2) Basically most of them pretend to be the "seedhi-saadhi " types and even in the rare case those girls come out of their shells all their meetings with the guy seems to have a clandestine feel to it. Roughly around 30% who have been given excessive freedom or those who have been subjected to excessive claustrophobia while schooling end up in premarital sex,which I dont say is a crime, but still has a clandestine and sinning touch to it, the way its committed.

3) Girls after going around with a guy and vice versa decide to dump and move each other as if they were tissue papers. Eg 1, Guy 1 spends 50000 rs over 3 years on girl one and they spend a lovely time going around and all off a sudden girl 1 slowly lessens contact citing work pressure and when the contact is not in full blast mode, she dashes of a letter to all her friends , with guy 1 in the list that she is getting married to a guy who earns 7000$ in the US working for a multinational firm.The expression on guy 1's poor face is priceless and starts behaving like the rakhi bhaiyya scrapping friendly messages on Orkut. SMS is now vogue, as the girl has no time for her former paramour, and is conveniently busy with the new GUY 2.

Guy 1, spends time curses himself and slowly settles down in a another job, and behaves as if he was "the caring bhayya" all along. I have seen 2 real life incidents like this. One such GUY 1 took my advice to deal with situation as I knew Girl 1 all along my college life.

Infact I have met both guy 1 and guy 2 types of 2 different stories both happening to be employees of my former company.

Net Inference

Girls look for the following things in stage 1(while college)


1)Smart and fair or TDH (Tall, dark and handsome )
2) Somebody who can go on talking to them.
3) Somebody who can forward endless messages to them via SMS.
4) Somebody who sends what they call "cute " forwards initially and then shifts gears to "adult " forwards.
5) Somebody who can drop them at various places and spend on them.
6) Somebody who is intelligent enough to use engineering maths as a shortcut to get to know the girl better.
7)Somebody who studies well and has a good name.
8)Somebody who has a good build

If you think you are well versed in all 7 points and have just won the battle,think again...the wicked game has just started and after that starts the elimination rounds.

Girl is 21 years old and when she looks for a job, you may not be in constant touch..as there are other employees vying for the "flirting" time allocation from the girl.For the ones who dont get "flirting" slots , consolation prizes of "smiles" and"cho chweet" are magnanimously distributed.Then the girl's parents start the Groom Hunt Program for their daughter.Incase the girl has give you a flying kiss or given you that seductive look some time back in college, those brownie points dont count when the girls dad starts talking,as obviously such achievments cant be flaunted openly in the Indian Society.


Here go the requirements

1) Whether the guy has the ammunition to start the next generation or not he must be from Infosys,TCS or Wipro.If not the guy must show his next quarter plans of moving into those companies or must at the bare minium be from a CTS,Polaris or some other known Indian IT Company.Incase the parents are knowledgable , they would also consider Oracle and Microsoft whic are otherwise relegated to the last position as parents havent heard of it.

2)You can bypass the above parameters by having a Green card,( and not the red colour free ICICI card that was given to you when the card salesman was convinced that you are the next generation GOLD Card spender, but sorry dad's with girls are obsessed with the colour green )since that would increase your brand value 1000 fold the other candidates applying.A couple of my cosuin sisters have chosen this lovely route to settle in the US and are still proud of their masterstrokes in selecting the US Groom.

So if you work in Avadi-Infotech or Ambattur computers , I am sorry you are rejected, you can try out the 5 rs Iyer Bride list available on the platform of Mambalam railway station and look for nice fathers who are yet to see the power of a "Software Groom".


4)Agreed its become common for people of both the sexes to flirt which each other, but what beats me is the attitude of people when say PERSON 1 proposes to PERSON 2 and PERSON 2 behaves in a hallucinatory mode and stares in disbelief.

Last week, my friend decided to try out proposing a rather well endowed female in his office and the girl shot back saying that she would complain to the HR Manager. I was shocked to hear that.The guy and the girl used to exchange furtive glances at each other in office, but still the girl behaved in a very odd manner.Anyway its a strange thing with that company actually starting a "people first " campaign and here are these 2, who happen to be in stone age.


People see too many movies these days and a "proposal" seemingly to them is a culture shock for which they need to show varying degrees of twisted faces and bigger eyeballs,often taking the cue from the melange of emotions a Miss World/Universe would exude.

5) Girl 1 says no to Guy 1 , who was her good friend lately, and keeps flirting with other folks having a good back up base.Girl 1 actually has a Guy 1a whom she had a relationship with a few years back and is confused about deciding about guy1 or guy 1a

The girl then uses her mathematical skills that she learnt last in class 10 and arrives at the follwing equation

a)As on date guy 1a is still as per the contract still comitted to me ,but Guy1a earns lesser and is not in a position to marry me and support me, and more importantly she cant live the life of an armani,gucci and hidesign with Guy1a.Nopes this supporting thingy with her sal is certainly not the in-thing.

b) She now explores the parental angle, and tells her story home and folks at home say Guy 2 is anyday better, he atleast has a decent job and works in a big company and causally jokes that guy 1 is better than guy 1a.

c)With the marriagible age limit increasing for the girl, she decides to woo guy1 who is pleasantly suprised and shocked with the volte face in 1 week, where he was rejected a week back because he was not her "types" . He is on cloud 9 and the girl is also on cloud 9, coz she has played a masterstroke that has made her peaceful and nothing is at an anti-parental angle. One thing to note is when girls are confused over guys the lottery over the guy is decided in the most silliest of ways as heard from one of my friends.One way is to take the parental angle of least resistance and the other is to take some small incident viewing it as ruthless as a redundant HR process to do the elimination to just give a reason to a guy.

The final word.

My only worry is at the alarming number of such female hypocrites who enter the marriage and relationship market,screwing a persons peace.My sincere feeling at the limited sample size observed is that the girls of today sans a few sensible folks are hypocrites to the core and the number of such people are increasing alarmingly in number.Gone are the days when both the male and the female led simple lives,after marriage as in a R.K Narayan novel, but today's fast world is giving us newer equations and complex variables.Half of this can be stopped if Indian parents can be more open about sex education and educate their children and not make them a claustrophobic pawn who is fed on IIT JEE cracking texts and pressurised to learn by rote.Unfortunately todays Indian parentage and the education system are producing females of a certain hypocratic charaecter that seems to look dangerous.


So are girls only to blame? If you ask me , there are certain guys who also exhibit the same hypocriteness throughout childhood, but at some point they become honest about their pathetic life so far, by getting to know the hard fact that, calculus stays the same whether its 18 or 24 years , but girls dont.Guys are innocent beyond a point , as they dont behave so yucky ...(may be sample size is short, but this is one major thing I have observed). If girls look at so many parameters , guys hoesntly sometime succumb to a smile or the physical assets which may sound a little unparlimentary, but the fact is, guys are a lot better than the modern day female.


Todays girls want everything on their plate,from the husband being a wealthy lad with a green card.


Gone are the days when Sudha Murthy's love story with Naryanamurthy but little money, but billions of dreams sowed in.They rose up in life together sharing the pitfalls and the roses and are 1 couple for whom the material world has changed little since their courtship days.People have forgotten the true essence of love and a relationship and every damn parent of a girl seems to follow a formulaic approach to a safe dollar lifestyle.If you ask me whether my life would beany different, I can only say that I will defintely make an honest attempt to look for a partner who is true to herself and who accepts people as they are without showing glimpses of "todays modern day- self proclaimed bharatiya naaris".Its going to take some time to spot the ripe ones among the rotten lot, but it would be one task worth doing rather than fall into the quagmire of such false relationships.

So Bouqets and brickbats can start flowing in the comments box below.

PS: IF YOU ARE A GIRL, WHO'S NOT ANGRY READING THE ABOVE POST THEN THE WORLD NEEDS MORE GIRLS LIKE YOU...

Branding Via Blogs

That is the topic I would be speaking at Blogcamp, next month.I have just started my presentatation and hope to present a synopsis here on my blog before I make the presentation there, so that I can elicit more views and comments from my readers.As one of the organizers of Blogcamp, only the arrangement of the speakers and the key note special guests are pending from my end. I guess , we would be able to so that when we get the final confirmation of folks speaking there,and that should be done by September 1st.



Blogcamp, is India's biggest Blog seminar in the unconference mode,which elicits participation from all seated in the auditorium.Though there would be a slight deviation especially when certain keynote speakers like Robert Scoble light up the auditorium, as it would shift to the conference mode.To confirm your partipcation at the event click here to give your names.

Talk about Branding, dont you think katchucrap is due for a brand makeover? or do you like it the way it is.please do let me know.

Inzy vs Hair

This is the latest match thats going on.I seem to get a feeling that Darrel hair, the world's 3rd most experienced umpire currently,needs to hang his boots and go on a vacation.He seems to be extremely prejudiced against the subcontinental teams.I remember how India and sri lanka were traumatised with some poor umpiring decisions in the yesteryears.It's good to see Pakistan take a stand where they would not want Hair officiating in any of the matches that they play in. If the same thing had happened to a Ricky ponting or a Greame Smith, due to an Indian umpire, I bet they would have made more noise than what is being made.

Murali was treated badly by hair with the "no balling" fracas 11 years back and was not even spared in Hairs's Biography,where Murali was labelled names and his action was said to be diabolical.The most vivid incident I remember, dring my childhood days was when Hair,gave Nasser hussain not out,off Javagal srinath ,when the ball clearly hit his bat down the legside and Mongia snaffled it,but much to the consternation of the Indian unit, Hussain survived at 13 to go on to make a valiant 109,which changed the circumstances of the Edgbaston test of 1996,which India famously went on to lose.

Just as the ICC penalises players for bad behaviour, I guess umpires should also be made accountable for being the tool for players to get instigated.Mr Hair, I think you have had enough of adventure down the 22 yard strip,and you must step down,otherwise the players are going to have a misadventure when you are officiating.

All about the weekend.


On Saturday, LG,Sid Vinu and myself met after what was quite a long time.I guess it must be a year back when all 4 of us met at the Eden restaurant in besant nagar way back in august 05.This time too the venue was no different,but the occaission was Sid's onsite trip to the UK.Our gossip started gaining momentum when we had to wait outside for about 45 minutes before we could get a seat inside,and as usual Sid played the "man" of the group taking care of enquiries and routine seat checks,while we 3 jabbered along.Invariably each one started talking about his workplace and our lives after college.LG seemed more than content with Honeywell in Bangalore,while Vinu seemed to exude extreme anguish at his job at CTS.The guy was suffering from benchophobia and felt he was not being used well as a resource.Sid,whose maturity and responsible image,which we have seen since college, has not deserted him at all.He's been offered a promotion to a PL.All of us agreed on one thing that each one of us being in the junior level (about 2 years exp) were being exploited in someway or the other at work,but hey we need the experience ,so none of us actually complained beyond level 2. After exchanging pleaantries at work, we got down to dissecting some gastronomic delights.

It started with Tomato soups,Cashew soups, cheese rolls and meandered into some continental cuisine of Risotto,Sausages and Lasagne.We washed it down further by having chocoloate ice creams and milkshakes.We weren't that focussed on making a meal of it,but were just hooked on to our lives after college. Of course the gossips followed on which girl got married, the circumstances under the marriage blah blah...and a followup on who's working where.

After a rather heavy and tasty dinner, we set off to the nearby besant nagar beach at around 1o pm and spent half an hour each discussing our plans for the future.Vinu plans to somehow take up a more functional and business oriented role in CTS, to escape the lull of Mainframes.(Geeezzz to think a year back, I too was coding in mainframes :-) ). Sid is planning some serious slogging at office to get a higher rating at TCS and then moving over to write the TAS for Tata group employees as he foresees lesser competition there than the bloodthirsty world of the CAT and GMAT.Ganesh seems to have got the green signal for his love story so life must be pretty peaceful for him.He plans to stick around with Honeywell for quite some time.

but since all good things ahve to come to an end,and we folks had to return home , all to different corners of the city,some relying on public transport,we decided to call it a "night".

DAY-2

This was more so between my department college mates at Marina Beach.It was good to see a big number gathering up.12 folks ended up coming,which was by our meetup standards pretty good. Again life here was all about each person's life in an IT Company,and each one took turns to justify that his company was the worst.From conversations it seems HCL employees really are the lot who are frustrated.The other folks being evenly distributed between a few local chennai based smaller software companies and CTS,TCS,Ramco and Sulekha.

This meeting was different in the sense all of them were more keen on a longer meet up,and have decided to spend a week togtether, if things go fine, this new year at Goa.One perceptible dampner is that guys are so wary about the effect of a 5 day leave on their impending appraissals.We had no major agenda to eat,as all we wanted to do as a rewinnd from 2004 till now,even though we are a very active "Reply-all" group via our office mails, but still nothing bears the physical meet up.

Here's a link to one of the videos of yesterdays conversation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fes-zoCu9Fs

College Reunion Weekend


This weekend promises to be one lovely weekend.Yesterday I happened to meet up with three of my classmates from the EEE department in college.The EEE trio of sid,vinu and Lg along with me met up at Eden restaraunt in Besant Nagar.There's one more meet up of my computer science batch happening this evening in an hour from now at Marina Beach.I am actually quite tired,but never too tired to say no to college buddies,given the fact that each of us hardly meet after 2 years of passing out.



More Pictures,reviews and gossip after I head home.

What is "The corporate world"?

The Corporate world has had far too many connotations for me, and changing ones at that.When I was in college, it was all about sitting in plush airconditioned offices,taking decesions that were to impact a company's bottomline, the next day's BSE,NSE prices, the minds of people in consumer behaviour and above all a nice harmonious life,which leads people to work their way towards the top,learning management all along the way.

3 years down the line,after 24 months in Corporate India, this is what I see life, in the eyes of a cow and a man.

You are the cow,the cow is fed hay and other victuals needs in a swanky courtyard,where you believe other cows would come and you could spend all day ogling , in the cool confines of the swanky courtyard.All the cows are whisked off to a nearby "shed" (their resort).Here all the cows would be asked to particpate in many interesting "team building activities" and these irrelevant games would go on,till each of the cows marvels and talks about its owner being "cool". Soon the cows settle to work.The owner comes and milks them daily.The problem here is that the owner doesnt know how much milk he wants , and how much the cow can deliver.The Cow is slowly milked 5 litres and as days go on its milked more in quantity,as quality hay is being fed.The Cow is slowly but steadily sucked into the generosity of its owner, so that it doesnt mind being milked a tad too much.

The owner for his 1 rs investment in the cow, would try to make a 1000 rs out of the investment and would go on to extract work.The cow starts to feel exploited and looks for approval in other fellow cows, who seem to also feel the same,but are shy in expressing themselves,lest their owner would abandon them and might reduce the amount of hay.Most of the cows lose their inner sensitivity of lazing and spending time,after work,as they would be busy trying to eke out the extra litre of milk for the owner,who evaluates the minimum citeria by making the cow milking the largest amount as the default level, so that when the next "hay" appraissal comes, he cant justify his claims in the "cow not milking to expectations".

After a year of hard earned milking, the cow demands more hay for yielding more milk, but the "corporate manager"(owner) tries to impress his head, by reducing the hay and yielding a better milk/hay ratio. The poor cows feel bad,at missing out an oppurtunity to potray one'self as god's gift to the milking industry,which is their only tool to determine their bread and butter(hay i mean).While one cow is down and out, the other cow tries to stoop to bizzare levels by stealing some of the other cows milk and putting it as its milk in the appraissal sheet,where the owner reads and rewards it by more hay and more milking(that goes without saying).

The cow starts to feel jaded and calmly looks on at other neighbouring sheds and see's whether the cow would be compensated with more "hay" there.This cycle repeats every annual appraissal and the cow with maximum"sheds" and "hay" wins the rat race.


FROM A MAN'S VIEW

The corporate world cuts of your penis and asks you to fuck hajaar females without compunction and produce 75% success rate as a minimum criteria,above which you would have exceeded expectatations.So the man knows, he cant make much of a dent on his own, so does his manager,but they still pretend that the man can 'just do it".The man is made to believe that he can still do it and when he tries and fails, he starts to blame himself that he couldnt do it and goes through a series of hallucinations at his abortive attempts to copulate. The poor man, in the midst of his confusions goes to viagra sellers, local "miracle inch growers" and other training techniques to understand how better he can utilise his assets.Now that when the performance appraissal comes along, the man belives himself to be god's gift to womankind and tries to convince his superior that he didnt spend the laxt six months at just looking at his asset,but tried to attend many training sessions on how to utilise his "assets" better for more returns.

The superior says that "despite giving 100 females" of resources this year you have been able to just make three pregnant.( That was a paid click, by the way, as the man spent some of the advertising budget in investing bonds in the sperm bank, and unleashing those bonds by artifical insemination). So since the ratio is poor, the appraissal asks " the man to be more assertive,agressive and to utilise teamwork (as in : u work on my property, I work on yours...and both the clicks and efforts count).

PS: By the way, the poor man doesnt know that the Sperm bank is actually a subsidiary business of his superior.

Inference:
At the lower level, come what may you get screwed (An appraissal walkthrough is like a blind man,searching in a dark room, for a black cat, that is not there).

At the higher levelm, come what may you make the "moolah"and enjoy that nice "Hawaian cruise while your worker is trying to screw harder,without any assets".

Corporate life "Zindabad"

PS: My KANK Review is still half way through,should be out in a day.quite a long one at that.

FDPS

First day Penultimate show,was what I mad it to on Friday.I saw KANK on the opening day.I am still putting my thoughts over the movie.expect a review a little later in the day.Might go for the movie again, as a partial experience of the movie was spoilt by the fact that the audio and acoustics at EGA theatre was a poor shadow of the acoustics at Sathyam cinemas.

This is also the third movie that I have gone on day 1. I did a FDFS for "Na Tum Jaano na Hum" in 2002, thanks to the fact that Melody theatre was 25% full.The second one being "Swades" in a rather rickety theatre in Jayanagar,Bangalore as PVR was booked to maximum capacity.(Incidentally am just back after watching a rerun of "Swades" on Star Plus).

Just a sneak peak...of KANK- I loved the movie,despite some flaws only karan johar can make,as seen in his genre of movies.Expect a review soon.

Hiroshima, Nagasaki and Rakhi

Rakhi – the very mention of the festival means a virtual impending bombshell in the waiting, as disastrous in scale as Hiroshima and Nagasaki in terms of impact. The Hiro shima and Nagasaki bombings anniversary falls on the 7th and 8th of August, the day after ( 9th August) that is the more desi version of a blast that is felt in the heart.

Rakhi has for long been seen through the eyes of Marketers, Ekta Kapoors and the 4 word Hindi films (with an extended family, and no villains and scores of songs) and has been eulogized to be the epitome of Indian emotions when it comes to the personal celebration of a brother and his sister. No one actually sees Rakhi through the eye and the psyche of the Indian male, who has undergone this emotional torture every year.

Lets talk about guy 1, who has a cute little sister called girl 2, both less than 12 years old Guy one after all the verbal quarrels decides to see his calendar and see that its patch up time with little or elder sis, and is forced into proclaiming ceasefire, partly cajoled into the new promise his parents gave him, for buying the next superman dress. The guy, now with a sense of glumness and outward glee, buys a gift which he hides behind his butt, and wishes his sister a happy “Rakhi day” and stands through the moments stoically when the sister ties the Rakhi around his wrist, and waits for the sister to finish what would be his promise to protect her. and blah blah blah…. And finally when the sister ties the final knot on the wrist, the brother sheepishly moves his hidden hand from behind and gives the sister a present, to which the sister reacts like the ubiquitous Miss world on winning the title, with a “oh , he’s so chweet….” hand on cheeks, about –to-shriek images, which supposedly show the girl’s surprise at the brother giving her a gift. This act of “I am surprised” is repeated every year, monotonously much to the chagrin of the guy, who sports a “Been there done that” look and caves in meekly to the sisters demands of the desired gift.


Now if a guy had many sisters, the no of bands on his wrist probably showed how deeply mired the guy was with his pocket money being to spend for more distaffing purposes. Apart from his own – kith –and –kin sisters, the guys found the “mohalle ki ladkiyan” who would be raring to tie the band, in order to improve the ROI(Return on Investment) on the 12 rs band that they had painfully invested. The guy didn’t mind flaunting all the 7 colors on his hand, sometimes even putting regional heroes like Ramarasan (Tamil) or Govinda (Hindi) to abject shame when it came to color combinations. So the poor guy, would have tied rachis to some one without even knowing the fact that the girl who tied him a Rakhi Bandhan could actually be a probable person “worth-hitting-on” a little later when they pass class 10 Biology. That precisely is the innocence of childhood.

Now that was the 90’s Bhaiyya types and with the ushering of the new millennium some thing had to change. And it did. Rakhis were no more the colorful 12 Rupee wrist bands but as the guy grew up , he too realized that the Rakhi was no more a band, it was a statement of rejection by a girl to avoid a guy stalking her. If a girl gave a guy Rakhi, a guy would now invent a 101 reasons to avoid that, as a Rakhi over his hand would be like using the plant mower to cut the sapling of platonic love. The girls too realized that as they grew up and became physically well endowed, the guys who ogled too much and who gave the girls their “peer” celebrity needed to be give something in return so that the guys would stop all the star gazing and would allow the other guys waiting in the line to show their wares. Poor guys, they would wait for a day in the sun , like starved folks in the ration shop , with the refrain ” Mera number Ayega”, patiently. The girls just wanted quantity here in seeing all the guys and the rejects would be awarded the snoot, and if the rejects started to push for one more round of examination, the girls gave them the ultimate curse, being drunk with the power of a 12rs Bandhan, which negated any ideas of a life time Bandhan , that the guy nurtured. Well the rejects would roughly comprise about 85% of the guys in the locality, college and friends from Orkut.



The rest 15% of the guys who were successful in getting a smile from the girls would assume victory and would brag to their fellow mates about their exploits when nothing had happened. Some thing like if the girl smiled at them, the guys would bloat that up to their friends that the girl had invited them for a date, and if the former had happened the guy would bloat that the girl was ok with a 1 night stand and so on … Girls being the sensitive folks that they are would never want their meetings with the guys to lose the clandestine touch and would never want other guys to know about their personal affairs with another guy. So at this stage guys who fart a lot get rejected by 2 means. One would be the girl calling the guy like this . Pooja calling Vineet “ Hi Rajiv sweety, I miss you da” . That’s it, any guy with a certain ounce of shame would keep the phone down, but still after reading Shiv Khera’s and Paulo Coelho’s books, some guys don’t wanna say die , and they correct the girl saying “ Hey Pooja, looks like you dialed my number instead of Vineets. Is my number so etched in your memory, that in every guy you see only me? …Is’nt that smart? Well, the girl would live to fight another day,before giving the guy the pink slip.

The girl would suppress her anger in not turning off the guy and would pretend as though nothing had happened and would go on yacking as before the guy bowls another verbal full toss which the girl would try to have him in a gaffe. After a couple of such litmus tests, the girl would evaluate which of the guys to keep in her flirt list, sms list and orkut list. The people who don’t make it here are given the PINK SLIP on D-day in the form of a Raksha Bandhan. The knot the girl tries to put around the guy is seen by the recipient as a noose that cuts him of from the girls world. The ostracized guy would look at the guys in the flirt and sms list and try and help the girl narrow down her choices, by helping her as a Bhaiyya to reject some of his erstwhile competitors.



Finally after many rounds of Barista’s, Pizza Huts and jamming mobile networks with mushy messages and one more year till the next Rakhi comes, the competition goes on parallely and the girl does a master stroke in giving a sugar coated message to the folks who lose out at this stage by giving a more glitzy Rakhi .

The elimination process goes on like this


You as Rajiv would be like the bed time story. She can't live without you.And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend yet, as she is delaying your confirmation to that grade , but you are allowed to take her little doggie for a walk along Besant nagar beach,so that the doggie gets some fresh air . Rajiv for Shopping, Rahul for Movie. Sameer for Coffee, and Rakesh for sms. Wow now that the portfolios have been allocated and the results are awaited with unabated breath.
Rajiv is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. After a 101 mock proposals in front of the men’s rest room, Rahul decides the best three pick up lines and calls his friend pooja

Rajiv: Well Pooja, I just thought….. (the adams apple goes down twice)
Pooja: Thought……what … a Movie ?
Rajiv: Hmm….Something like that for a longer period of time.
Pooja: U mean sequel of movies?
Rajiv: Kinda yes Kinda no, its like a movie alright, with the hero and the heroines being us.
Pooja: (Now knowing that the ball is in her court) Err.. what are you saying, I never seem to understand your inner thoughts….sheesh..that had to happen, when were we on the same wavelength anyway? Be a bit more clear na
Rajiv: (Huge emotional Thud on hearing “sheesh..that had to happen, when were we on the same wavelength anyway?” ) I mean u me getting hooked (with a despondednt tone)Pooja: "But I thought we were just friends.(As in KKHH “maine tumhe us nazariye se dekha nahi)We should remain friends for life, and know what you are my best buddy and the problem is actually I have a boy friend.Sameer you know that don’t you ?"Rahul: What?? #$%& (cursing sameer).

So after finalizing on three BEST BUDDIES with giving them 75rs Rakhi’s whose glitz and colour is supposed to quench the sadness of their proposal being rejected, the girl goes on to the next single guy, who she either proclaims as a boyfriend or starts the rakhi thread process all over again, If she is not satisfied with the quality.

So that’s what Rakhis have come to be these days, from experiencing lovely sibling emotions to a mud slinging male female battle. Now my kid sisers have decided to tie their rakhi’s fo the fist time tommorow and I marks a debut of sorts for them.The onlyb thing I would have them hear is “PLEASE DON’T GET A BEST BUDDY”

So what are the lessons single males should be learning from the Rakhi experience?

Thou shall not ogle at females tomorrow
Thou shall not pick up a call by a female tommorow.
Thou shall only code and not call the adjacent girl for coffee.
Thou shall use the hands for better male purposes :-) and not for Rakhi

KOFEE WITH KARTIK-PART 2




Tagged for the second time in a week. This time its Ash, so here goes.

I am thinking about -

Which B school would I end up next year?
Why I seem to sleep a lot these days?
When would I finally compose my thoughts on my short story?
Why have I lost interest in eating out?

I said

" Life is one fine 75 overs cricket ball, you never know when it
starts to reverse swing"

I want to finish my unfinished short story sitting in a hammock in Goa

I wish I had a profession like Emraan Hashmi and a girl friend like Kate Winslet

I hear that Coke and Pepsi may actually be a cheaper option to HIT and other desi pesticides.

I wonder if one fine day some body would say "My role model is Kartik Kannan "

I regret not spending enough quality time with friends, as work and studies keep me busy.

I can't be sychophantic

I am K A R T I K and not K A R T H I K and not K A R T H I C K

I dance when I am on the road , with a walkman plugged on, more so unoblivious of the onlookers gaping at me enroute to the local suburban railway stations.

I sing " like Kishore da in the bathroom and shaan in the toilet"

I need to be careful with my possessions.

I cry - Long time actually since I did that...

I make Probable business plans and ideal pick up lines when I am vetti.

I write when I feel the impulse of sharing my thoughts with you lovely people.

I confuse

Sometimes a Girls voice, calling A's name when B talks.
between Remuneration and Renumeration
between Rollicking and Rockilling.


I miss those lovely simple and innocent DD days of the early 90's .

I will learn to become a better storyteller and photographer next year.

I should try and holiday more and explore more virgin locations.

The Tour de Farce

The Tour de France, is supposed to be the world's most gruelling cycling event, one that had evoked a lot of respect from me after I read Lance Armstrong's book "Its not about the bike...".
Suprisingly it lies enmeshed now in the world of spurious drugs,after the 2006 event's winner Floyd Landis, was tested positive for high levels of Testosterone.Landis seems to deny claims that he took drugs, but as ET puts it " only one of them can be positive, either Landis or the sample" and by deductive reasoning, it slowly looks like Landis might have indeed played foul.

I guess its the sheer pressure of performance that makes sportpersons to have drugs, as with each victory, the equations of pay cheques and sponsors drastically change.The pressure percolates down to the player deciding whether his sweat at the end of the day was worth all the effort, incase he did not win at his sport.Todays dog eat dog world of professionalism has made people insecure about their careers and though most dont take such disastrous moves like taking to drugs, a few sportsmen, decide to bypass the rules and go for the jugular and end up in shambles.

Justin Gatlin, the 100 m chamopin is one and of course during my "kiddo" days in the early 90's I remember the sprinter Ben Johnson, having an anabolic steroid twice, once in the 88 seoul olympics and once later in the 90's.Needless to say,Ben Johnson, who was all set to make history,was history...in athletics. What really muses me is the fact that knowing fully well,that technology mechanisms for judging samples are too good, and it takes quite a bit to actually escapethese tests,with what verve are sportspersons getting the feel that they would be llet of scott free. If I were giving my urine sample,and I had had drugs on that day, I'd have a chilling feeling of things impending.I guess it must be the same for any sportsman who makes suchj mistakes and goes through routine false media denials, that these are rumours and slowly but steadily they start to cave in to the mounting pressure of the questions asked, like a Ben Johnson, Hansie Cronje or a Kavya Vishwanathan (Kaavya and Hansie were wronged in other cases of personal wrongdoing, not drugs)

But since these sports have mechanisms for drug checking, people are getting caught,what about the other high energy sports competition where dope testing is not mandataory? I for one know that Cricket is yet to come under the scanner.I guess Cricket is the only sport that doesnt involve drug testing.I remember a widely spread rumour a week after India lost the 2003 World Cup final,the Indian media was accusing Ricky Ponting to have taken drugs during that masterful 141 in the finals. That muderous innings of 141 in statistics may not tell the whole picture, but the pugnacious charge that Ricky ponting assaulted on the hapless Indian bowling was all too sudden,as he was coasting along at less than run a ball, and then as the slog overs came by Ricky strode like a colussus over the sumptous feast provided by the likes of Nehra, Srinath and Zaheer.The innings stood out for attention simply because one felt unless Ricky's body parts were on fire, he could not have launches such a missive against the Indian bowlers and thus the claim that Ricly ponting may have taken drugs.

I personally felt that the Australians have in their blood levels, an unending supply of adrenalin, that keeps them pumped up,and its pretty normal "Australian" thing to be behave rough and tough and be aggressive when it comes to competing. If cricket were to have drug testing mandatory after the match, would that open a new can of worms?, well only time would tell

Tendul Speak , WAS HE "WRIGHT"




It looks like John Wright's new book is all set to make a big splash across India(and a even bigger splash on my bank account) , as the focus would be to get an insiders view to the happenings in the Indian Cricket team.A speacial issue snowballing around into anavalanche is the Dravid Declaration at Multan. We all knew that Sachin was dissapointed when Dravid declared the Multan Test at 675/5 when Sachin was left out chillingly(atleast as how he sees it) on 194, 6 short of a well deserved double century in Pakistan.Now when Sachin made such an issue of it by going against the team management and saying to the press, that he was dissapointed, then is'nt that a breach of Team Spirit,which he accused Saurav Ganguly of,when Ganguly blew the lid on a certain comment made by Greg Chappel.

I feel that Sachin,was as much at fault,as was Saurav for blowing the top on dressing room secrets.Its their larger than life image that sometimes make them see themselves as much bigger than team causes.Both have been trusted Indian warriors for the last 10 years,but along the line,the fame and adulation they have recieved has been misconstrued by them,to use it as a tool to emotionally draw the support of people,when important decisions involving Team India over individuals was taken.

I guess its still a fuzzy picture in terms who exactly said what,and how things were when John Wright was at the helm.So I guess, I would have to wait till October to unearth how Wright steered a Vehicle that had looks of the ferrari,but was lazy to put petrol(Team India).