9/09/2005

the vagaries of the human mind ....


19-02-05_2022, originally uploaded by kartik kannan.

That shot of me was taken by my cousin some time back. These days I have been wondering while going to bed....what the power of the human mind can actually do. Success in any field is totally dependent ..on how the mind percieves what we would like to do in our chosen activity.

I have seen the vagaries in perception when the mind is conditioned to repeated failure...and the kind of image beating that happens when repeated failures pass along the way is horrific.. I have been through positions of extreme success and extreem failure and as I look back at small instances .. where I have failed miserably ..I realize one thing .My mind seemed to have a pre conditioned safe paying level..which was percieved as difficult ...and as time went on since success was not knocking at my door..I became conditioned to failure...in those related activities..and now when i look back ...those activities look so easy now... but somehow eluded me ..because of my attitude not so long ago.

When I also look back at some of the successes ..I find that those were due to untiring unrelenting efforts....that were put ,along with a great attitude ...all because ..I was interested in that activity...and went in a perfectly executed and organized manner ..because heart of hearts ..I wanted to do that .More than that It was that I was a little familar to doing those activities...so i knew what it took to get there ..whilst certain other activities....that were relatively new ... I wasn't quite sure what the path looked ..like and where the destination would show up..so I meandered along a beaten path struggling to be safe ...with my state of mind resembling the state of unrest one has , after having fallen in a sticky swamp. Living through with such a sick feeling has blunted all the edges of my other skillsets....and led me into a path which i belived to be amaze which i could never get out of ..

I was like the guy without a directon in life ..like the proverbial blind man searching in a dark room for a black cat which is not there!!! ...

but slowly but steadily ...life has changed for the better with each passing day ...and as the time ticker says 73 days to D day !!! I realize i at last see light at the end of the tunnel...and this glimmer of hope .. has resulted in me recollecting some of the lovely moments when success chased me ...so that I am able to correlate and get the feel good factor back...


Though this thing of attitude determining ur altitude is a cliched term ..I am realizing it practically ...in realtime .I know a lot of water has flown under the bridge ...due to some negative mindset...but still with 73 days to D day ...anything can happen ... and this feeling of slowly evolving euphoria...has just started like a fire...and I only hope it spreads like a rage .... into a bigger forest fire ..thus defeating the demons of the mind.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Kartik, read almost all of ur posts n this one seems to be more like a hotch-potch. It says that u want to say something n are unwilling to disclose it even. As if something is missing. But still what i cud extract out is, u had a roller-coaster ride on ur career front. Hoping it to be smooth by now, which really reflect in ur other(later) posts. Here i wud like to tell u about my personal experience. I also had started my own (small) business , n got a backfire! on the personal life, again backfired! again on career front backfired. Does that define me an inappropriate? Ofcourse not! Yes but i've felt that i've learned MORRE in those bad days. If someone asks me n give me a chance to live my life all-over again, i might not be willing to change my past into something new, coz that was the best (learning) phase of my life.
n at the end, i'm definitely trying to improve my present n future. Atleast doing my part honestly!!!

Kartik Kannan said...

true ... its been a real learning phase .... when i look back at it ...

life indeed had been a roller coaster ride ..and a little unjust at times ..but i am upto it ....now ..slowly coming to terms with it and getting more efficent by the day .

Rajesh Raghupati said...

Sir,
I think this is the way everyone feels. Right from birth we all are uncertain about what is in store for us in the future. Some people worry about it. Some people work towards success. In the end neither matters. Quoting Rajnikanth from Muthu:
Kedaikarthu Kedaikaama irukaadhu,
Kedaikama irukardhu kedaikadhu.
The fact that you are at Infosys and have bought a Santro car makes you feel happy and feel like you finally some control over the proceedings. This makes you look back and feel as if you were a guy without direction. My opinion is :that is absolutely not the way to go about it. For instance, Ganguly would never have imagined what turned out within a period of 5 days before the duel with Chappell. I am not trying to be pessimistic. All I want to say is material success is good and makes one happy. But I think its time for you to focus on what is real happiness. Being a software engineer in the crowd is not success. Look for non material happiness. I am saying this to myself as I write to you because I feel the same way. I wish you good luck. I continue to enjoy your site.

Rajesh Raghupati said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hey the post helped me to make myself more determined and focused and put lot of "EFOORTS"... life bacfires evryone (a multitalented guy like you..!),infact it allows you to evlove into finer human..So i need not worry in this phase of life..I am not "unworhty"..only life wants me to put some extra efforts..So your such blogs help me keep my belief on myself alive..
its such a fab.. time,the spending reading your blogs..keep writing.Shabs

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