In Search of life....

I am right now filling up an application form, for my Masters in business administration and when these questions stare at me, I just seem to copy it and stare blankly at life

Do I have a life?

Am I living the life I want?

Do I know what I want to do?

Do I know where I am heading in Life?

Do I know the right people to trust in life ?

My answers to most of the questions vacillate between a yes and a no and seem more inclined towards a NO. These questions are hitting me a week before CAT, and ya the timing couldnt have been better. My CAT scores havent really looked up, but humankind has invented something called hope, and I seem to subscribe to that more often than not. Life actually seems a rat race day by day and the added pressures of life, seem to take the sheen of life, and add it to the hedonism factor that my brain loves being pampered with, you just want to ask me " why the hell do you want to do management? ".

I guess life wouldn't ask me such questions If I was getting 14% ile higher than the current mock cat scores and if I had a seat at a premier business school by now.I would have cool'ly assumed that life was taken care of and not even recognize that my soul cant answer 5 basic questions that the conundrum called life put to me.

Its not a linear world, and nobody is out to give you sweets.They give you a box of sweets if you indirectly gave them a ton of sweets.Everybody is running, so am I, but when I take breather...I ask myself why am I running,where am I running, will running in this direction help me?even as someone running along with me lies to me that, this is the best path to run,since he needs company to accomplish the running task Sometimes the breather or the break extends a little too much into overtime and I again start running. While running there are rogues that push mud on filth on you, or make you trip, as they need to overtake you and even as you overcome all this, you still are wondering what a great leveller life is, it pulls you up only to be pushed down.

While you just relax and mull, there comes a comment that "X's daugher has gone onsite, Y's son got admission into IIM A, Z who got a lesser grades than you, somehow managed to become a program lead and hajaar such comments that keep reverberating in your mind to mindlessly push yourself against the wall to expand your horizons. Not that you dont appreciate their success, just that you ask yourself, why not me? and even if you didn't what are families there for?

Life for the last 3 years has been like trying to walk across a slimy surface and slipping time and again.The end seems near, but the 7th class lesson of Optical illusion seems to only seems to give you bad memories.Sometimes honesty gets you nowhere, while you see incompetent fools, avoiding the slimy path, as they get the "divine exemption". Does that mean, I change myself? I probably would'nt , but I would prefer to rely on persistence to get through the slimy surface inch by inch and then take on the injustice.Sometimes, you feel like getting all charged up and fighting back, but its always safe to not challenge the power of the waves, just allow the waves to hit and you,while you stand firm..and just wait for the waves to abate and rubbish the advice of a 100 " well wishers" who'd advice you to fight the tide.

43 minutes past this post I still have not found the answer to those questions.But since I need a fat pay cheque and a good life, I will eventually go back to lying about 5 questions and prove to the B schools that I am applying that

"You know what, I am the guy, whom your program desparately needs to add the diversity to the MBA Program, and .....blah blah blah........".

So give me examples of how you have handled crisis situations ?

"Once My friend threw cowdung on my face during a discussion and I immideately said "you know what, You dont know how much of protein and vitamin supplements you have given my face, I may now not want to use that "fair and lovely" cream for the face vitamins, as the shit that you have accorded my face, seems to be glowing my skin.but it seems to have hit only one part of my face, would you wanna paint the other part brown?"

The Result:: My other friend who was "networking" (flirting) close by, got convinced of my crisis management capabilities and gave me a job in his company.

Give some details of awards won

Award for the most "out-standing" student in college, as I passed all exams without actually being in the class.

What is the biggest lesson you have learnt in the Corporate World ?

I learnt that Pareto, didn't actually waste his time creating theorems, Infact one of his theorems was so practically followed at the places where I used to work.
The 80-20 rule does apply, with a slight deviation though :-
80% of the work is done by 20% of the people
The remaining 20% ask 80% of the questions *

How useful was the 6 Sigma concept ?

Well, according to popular management folklore experienced by friends of mine at various companies the concept is Indianised into6 Nagma concept:

6 Nagma's is what it takes to ruin your career.The 6 females laugh aloud at the workplace, get all the promotions, get to assign work to you, get to screw you in the "zor ka jhatka dheerey sey laga " way , get to laugh at you, get to leave at 5 15 before the honcho leaves and get to "network" in the female restrooms the time you spend on your machine staring at code.

Get three evaluators to write about you ?

First Person: Kartik...was an extremely intelligent ...

Second Person: Kartik is a potential L.N.Mittal .....

Third Person: Kartik is an immaculate guy .......

After three long praising essays I get happy at seeing so many good things written about me, but later concience pricks me, as I have done this mono acting of me being all the three reviewers, partially exhausted the word list and lied so much, that depression and grief puts me to sleep before the alarm raises its ugly head early next morning.

What are the three things you expect at your "ideal" job ? **

Better Pay
Better Pay
Better work atmosphere ( Better Chicks)

But, that’s not what you can say on your B School application now, can you ?
So, you come up with illuminating reasons. Some of them being:

Looking for higher exponential learning across various verticals.

Looking to increase exposure, for personal enrichment.

-------Its a vague rant alright.... but somehow I feel all this crap of "management selling" is a false way of life to project yourself and even a career progression depends on how you suck up sometimes and how you beg for the extra increment,every quarter....over a period of time.

MBA Schools know this, but still expect you to say lies in a smiling armour. Dont get me wrong,I may have not seen much of the world, but get a strange feeling that all the glitz and glamour that the corporate world promises...is only a false screen where puppets like you and me get that extra second of coverage.

* , ** Concept inspired from (: Sudhir)


BRAT said...

Complete relate 2 u man!!!

WA said...

Good luck with the CAT

Shree said...

The "better working environment" bit is a myth,whichever way you look at it (pun intended)!!!!

Gagan said...

i can relate to ur post....Dill choo liya

ashish said...

True that.

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