6/08/2006

Kiss Me/Kiss me not



Kissing has been mankind's only way of sharing whatever food they ate...from the same plate ..oops palates..Since the times of Adam and eve. Adam and Eve didn’t have nice Gautier furniture to stack their food items and dint have containers ..so they decided to share every morsel from the lips...before it parted into the throat as into the deep depths of the human body for digestion. But over a period of time mankind discovered that the lips were more luscious and tasty than the food they shared.....and thus was born the concept of kiss,. supposedly modified in France, as it is more popularly known as the French Kiss.

The Indian's even though were far smart in inventing the zero and Kamasutra, didn’t have proper growth and expansion strategies to their love making techniques...and came up with the poor kissing technique where the USP was on respect more than passion...and it was called 'Kissing on the Cheek’, which later in my times...was the consolation award for the guy whose proposal was not accepted...and this was given as freebie award during the Indian Raksha Bandhan festival,which was the first girlie tool to pronounce her verdict against the men who don’t matter.


Anyway we've digressed a little 2 much. Kissing then started to be the new status symbol of having got it from the GIRL THAT MATTERS...and soon it was not so coy of kissing in college or school....but having to do that in short 2 minute recesses seemed to create anxiety levels in students to put up great performances in shorter time ...thereby increasing pressure to perform....in activities...other than mundane academic conquests. Then the focus shifted to Parks and public places where usually no sane guy living in the same city comes...and that can be a huge plus point for despo couples waiting to eagerly practice lessons learnt from desi magazines like Femina,Star Dust ...and the lot in the park's.


After such strenuous sessions of "jhadon ke peechey love" came the era of Camera Love when they did all that more exploration... trekking on each others au naturel body. in front of the proverbial 1.3 mega pixel camera and some in front of the 70 mm camera.

Mallika Sherawat and Zeenat Aman being pioneers of kisses on the mega screen with Mallika doing as many as 17 in her debut fim titled Khwahish. These were paid Clicks..oops paid kisses (am incensed with Google adsense..forgive me ) but another market emerged thanks to the 1.3 Mega pixel Digicam without any fee...and lo Delhi's Palika Bazaar and Chennai's Burma Bazaar became listed on the BSE ..as the MMS generated so much of instant revenue for them.Cell phone companies and Service providers wanted to cash in on the moolah,by making a national MMS contest,but the goverment gave them 2 options...1 to pay 200% entertainment tax or give them the sole copyright for the clippings..(just like they blackmailed TEN SPORTS) and neither of them happened. Just then some tyical Madrasi parents claimed that people caught in the clippings were doing "something strange and new" and wanted to stop all this "asingam"(shameful things).The intelligent government, that it is ,sensed opportunity to woo the educated class vote bank. by proposing the idea of banning cell phones....in campuses...even extending their rule to cover Nokia 1100 and 3315..which apparently has just a monochrome display system..but given the intelligence systems the government has...it was construed as a smart move... by even the opposition party :-) and thus government addressed the kissing problem by banning nokia 1100...ya if u feel you have understood the reason behind this please nominate your application to recruitme@idioticministers.com (BTW I just earned 10 cents for promoting their recruitment drive on my blog).

But we youngsters were smart (Sorry, I havent yet kissed in my life, the we was used euphemistically),we automatically discovered alternate venues for practising google search inside the opposite sex's mouth...and discovered cinema halls and lonely railway stations...and now the Goverment has passed a decree to even expect entertainment tax on kissing in Delhi.Check here....Boy I must say PC, our fin guy, knows how to extract money from the despo community....




will the tax widening of 900% increase prevent kissing? Well to know the answers stay logged on to this space to catch more action.

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