Shilpa Shetty vs Richard Gere

Shilpa shetty's PR man friday must be reaping rich bonuses from her. This is another of Shilpa Shetty's shenanigans that's come to the limelight, breaking the nation to a standstill. Coming back to the incident, Richard Gere's sudden kiss does seem to have got quite a few agitated people. The "Kiss" or the hallowed action of Richard Gere, does not need so much of attention, to warrant the whole episode as "indecent", "against indian culture", etc etc, when the same group of people flock lustily to the tunes of "beedi jalailey" and "Rakshi Sawant's Jhatka's", which is so much "Indianised culture".

Though the deep lunge kiss would have a been a first of sorts(in a public place) amongst the people attending the event, I still assume that its a sort of hypocracy thats so deeply enmeshed in our thoughts that is making us make adverse reactions. People call it "Western Culture" and brand all kinds of social stigma's to it. That explains why the internet and the porn industry on the web, have so many hits from India(and more so from Chennai).Damn...this is the land of the Kama Sutra and still we need to sneak and hide to even say the word in a hush hush tone. After discovering this sensual art form, India slept off, while the western countries implemented all the lessons there and they get to make it the "Western Culture", which we Indian's brand them, when we see any amorous art form.

Shilpa Shetty must have learned quite a lesson from cooking Chicken and being Richard Gere's dineer for the night.

So here goes Shilpa's Manuals for Ladies to attract attention

Kaun Banegi Crore Patni?
7 Habits of Highly succcesful Scam driven Women


1) In India never kiss in Public, if you are in a rural centre, and when you are in a blessed Hypocrite Land called Tamil Nadu and always excercise your kissing strengths in the region between Bandra's Bandstand and Palolem Beach as there is no worry about moral policing there. India's sinning district also has a another territory set called NCR and Briagde Road, which also has a lotof supporters fighting for independence from their state's rule as they want a free kissing state, and have threatened to be in a liplock till their demands are met.

3) Always fight over Chicken meat and if you dont get a piece brand the other person as racist.

4) Always pretend to fight when a man kisses, and then when he doesnt give one, label him a racist.

5) When a man kisses you all over and you are the scourge of public attention, just say that you have been unfairly victimesed and you realised that only in the last round of the kissing binge.

6) Pretend as if you are running away from the TV camera and fall near the camera, and then use weeping aid immideately before the focus falls on you. Now slightly take the pallu which has fallen and cover your chest and keep your hands there. Nothing more moves Indian's when a woman is in that post and that is the best pose to evoke sympathy. I also forgot to say, please give interviews to the channels in Bhojpuri and Flawless english, which could land you a lucrative Bhojpuri assignment, beamed all over the B and C class theatre(By the way Shilpa and Shakila dont see eye to eye), or land you a half hour celebrity spot in Kofee with Karan, Rendezvous with Simi Garewal.

7) Incase you must and do find your way to Tamilnadu, a similar action would allow you to be on Lakshmi's Sob fest called "Kadhai illa Nejam", plus a lot of spots on Local "high culture and morality" channels like SUN TV, JAYA TV and STAR VIJAY. Make the pallu fall a little too often and you could have T Rajendar and S.J.Suryah treat you to A class Pamela Anderson treatment.