8/26/2006

Love me /Love me not

These days I seem to be wonderstruck by the relative instability and complex issues that come in way of a relationship.A relationship and the variables that play a huge part seem to be tougher to decipher than fermats last theorem.Though I dont exactly play "loveline" as Malaika Arora does, but I do get to hear snippets of gossip from the horse's mouth, I have seen some very interesting observations over the last 2-3 years.Whatever has been gathered here has been more so compiled from all the observations and inputs observed by me and some of my close friends, over last week's college re union.Some day when I experience it fully, I'd certainly be able to throw more light, but anyway here are some observations.

1) Majority girls in Chennai, behave as if hormones never existed in them, and they need to stand for the election of the most "virtued girl" even though their mind must be harbouring a thousand "evil"(as they call it) thoughts.

2) Basically most of them pretend to be the "seedhi-saadhi " types and even in the rare case those girls come out of their shells all their meetings with the guy seems to have a clandestine feel to it. Roughly around 30% who have been given excessive freedom or those who have been subjected to excessive claustrophobia while schooling end up in premarital sex,which I dont say is a crime, but still has a clandestine and sinning touch to it, the way its committed.

3) Girls after going around with a guy and vice versa decide to dump and move each other as if they were tissue papers. Eg 1, Guy 1 spends 50000 rs over 3 years on girl one and they spend a lovely time going around and all off a sudden girl 1 slowly lessens contact citing work pressure and when the contact is not in full blast mode, she dashes of a letter to all her friends , with guy 1 in the list that she is getting married to a guy who earns 7000$ in the US working for a multinational firm.The expression on guy 1's poor face is priceless and starts behaving like the rakhi bhaiyya scrapping friendly messages on Orkut. SMS is now vogue, as the girl has no time for her former paramour, and is conveniently busy with the new GUY 2.

Guy 1, spends time curses himself and slowly settles down in a another job, and behaves as if he was "the caring bhayya" all along. I have seen 2 real life incidents like this. One such GUY 1 took my advice to deal with situation as I knew Girl 1 all along my college life.

Infact I have met both guy 1 and guy 2 types of 2 different stories both happening to be employees of my former company.

Net Inference

Girls look for the following things in stage 1(while college)


1)Smart and fair or TDH (Tall, dark and handsome )
2) Somebody who can go on talking to them.
3) Somebody who can forward endless messages to them via SMS.
4) Somebody who sends what they call "cute " forwards initially and then shifts gears to "adult " forwards.
5) Somebody who can drop them at various places and spend on them.
6) Somebody who is intelligent enough to use engineering maths as a shortcut to get to know the girl better.
7)Somebody who studies well and has a good name.
8)Somebody who has a good build

If you think you are well versed in all 7 points and have just won the battle,think again...the wicked game has just started and after that starts the elimination rounds.

Girl is 21 years old and when she looks for a job, you may not be in constant touch..as there are other employees vying for the "flirting" time allocation from the girl.For the ones who dont get "flirting" slots , consolation prizes of "smiles" and"cho chweet" are magnanimously distributed.Then the girl's parents start the Groom Hunt Program for their daughter.Incase the girl has give you a flying kiss or given you that seductive look some time back in college, those brownie points dont count when the girls dad starts talking,as obviously such achievments cant be flaunted openly in the Indian Society.


Here go the requirements

1) Whether the guy has the ammunition to start the next generation or not he must be from Infosys,TCS or Wipro.If not the guy must show his next quarter plans of moving into those companies or must at the bare minium be from a CTS,Polaris or some other known Indian IT Company.Incase the parents are knowledgable , they would also consider Oracle and Microsoft whic are otherwise relegated to the last position as parents havent heard of it.

2)You can bypass the above parameters by having a Green card,( and not the red colour free ICICI card that was given to you when the card salesman was convinced that you are the next generation GOLD Card spender, but sorry dad's with girls are obsessed with the colour green )since that would increase your brand value 1000 fold the other candidates applying.A couple of my cosuin sisters have chosen this lovely route to settle in the US and are still proud of their masterstrokes in selecting the US Groom.

So if you work in Avadi-Infotech or Ambattur computers , I am sorry you are rejected, you can try out the 5 rs Iyer Bride list available on the platform of Mambalam railway station and look for nice fathers who are yet to see the power of a "Software Groom".


4)Agreed its become common for people of both the sexes to flirt which each other, but what beats me is the attitude of people when say PERSON 1 proposes to PERSON 2 and PERSON 2 behaves in a hallucinatory mode and stares in disbelief.

Last week, my friend decided to try out proposing a rather well endowed female in his office and the girl shot back saying that she would complain to the HR Manager. I was shocked to hear that.The guy and the girl used to exchange furtive glances at each other in office, but still the girl behaved in a very odd manner.Anyway its a strange thing with that company actually starting a "people first " campaign and here are these 2, who happen to be in stone age.



People see too many movies these days and a "proposal" seemingly to them is a culture shock for which they need to show varying degrees of twisted faces and bigger eyeballs,often taking the cue from the melange of emotions a Miss World/Universe would exude.

5) Girl 1 says no to Guy 1 , who was her good friend lately, and keeps flirting with other folks having a good back up base.Girl 1 actually has a Guy 1a whom she had a relationship with a few years back and is confused about deciding about guy1 or guy 1a

The girl then uses her mathematical skills that she learnt last in class 10 and arrives at the follwing equation

a)As on date guy 1a is still as per the contract still comitted to me ,but Guy1a earns lesser and is not in a position to marry me and support me, and more importantly she cant live the life of an armani,gucci and hidesign with Guy1a.Nopes this supporting thingy with her sal is certainly not the in-thing.

b) She now explores the parental angle, and tells her story home and folks at home say Guy 2 is anyday better, he atleast has a decent job and works in a big company and causally jokes that guy 1 is better than guy 1a.

c)With the marriagible age limit increasing for the girl, she decides to woo guy1 who is pleasantly suprised and shocked with the volte face in 1 week, where he was rejected a week back because he was not her "types" . He is on cloud 9 and the girl is also on cloud 9, coz she has played a masterstroke that has made her peaceful and nothing is at an anti-parental angle. One thing to note is when girls are confused over guys the lottery over the guy is decided in the most silliest of ways as heard from one of my friends.One way is to take the parental angle of least resistance and the other is to take some small incident viewing it as ruthless as a redundant HR process to do the elimination to just give a reason to a guy.

The final word.

My only worry is at the alarming number of such female hypocrites who enter the marriage and relationship market,screwing a persons peace.My sincere feeling at the limited sample size observed is that the girls of today sans a few sensible folks are hypocrites to the core and the number of such people are increasing alarmingly in number.Gone are the days when both the male and the female led simple lives,after marriage as in a R.K Narayan novel, but today's fast world is giving us newer equations and complex variables.Half of this can be stopped if Indian parents can be more open about sex education and educate their children and not make them a claustrophobic pawn who is fed on IIT JEE cracking texts and pressurised to learn by rote.Unfortunately todays Indian parentage and the education system are producing females of a certain hypocratic charaecter that seems to look dangerous.


So are girls only to blame? If you ask me , there are certain guys who also exhibit the same hypocriteness throughout childhood, but at some point they become honest about their pathetic life so far, by getting to know the hard fact that, calculus stays the same whether its 18 or 24 years , but girls dont.Guys are innocent beyond a point , as they dont behave so yucky ...(may be sample size is short, but this is one major thing I have observed). If girls look at so many parameters , guys hoesntly sometime succumb to a smile or the physical assets which may sound a little unparlimentary, but the fact is, guys are a lot better than the modern day female.


Todays girls want everything on their plate,from the husband being a wealthy lad with a green card.


Gone are the days when Sudha Murthy's love story with Naryanamurthy but little money, but billions of dreams sowed in.They rose up in life together sharing the pitfalls and the roses and are 1 couple for whom the material world has changed little since their courtship days.People have forgotten the true essence of love and a relationship and every damn parent of a girl seems to follow a formulaic approach to a safe dollar lifestyle.If you ask me whether my life would beany different, I can only say that I will defintely make an honest attempt to look for a partner who is true to herself and who accepts people as they are without showing glimpses of "todays modern day- self proclaimed bharatiya naaris".Its going to take some time to spot the ripe ones among the rotten lot, but it would be one task worth doing rather than fall into the quagmire of such false relationships.


So Bouqets and brickbats can start flowing in the comments box below.

PS: IF YOU ARE A GIRL, WHO'S NOT ANGRY READING THE ABOVE POST THEN THE WORLD NEEDS MORE GIRLS LIKE YOU...

38 comments:

Syed said...

A very pleasant Read. Somewhere down there what i hear is a sad tune very sublimal

Anonymous said...

Looks like you haven't observed very many people. Not every girl is a hypocrite and not every guy is as innocent as you proclaim.
Written from a man's point of view, I'd like to hear the arguments of the opposite sex. My bet is their grouses would fill the same amount of space, if not more.

Kartik Kannan said...

Thanks Syed and Anon

@@Syed

It is a little sad to actually observe the nerd mentality creep into more or less all factions of life,so that kinda explains the sadness, though with a tinge of ostensible humour.Its not that I have lots hope being sad, but have just become more careful of the world around me :-).

@@anon

Thanks anon, would love to hear from the opposite sex... you may be right in terms of sample size of my observation being small, but most of these observations have been from varied sources.

Anonymous said...

wtf man!? no use analysing such things. Dont waste time. girls will never change. Ego is their main problem and as you said they are hypocrites.

Anonymous said...

fine study...and i feel this is very much the parctical truth..as i have been on the recieving side
in one of my experiences...what they simply need is someone to engage their mind on..poor guy dreams something else and falls into the pit..good that everybody reads this and is becomes aware of these issues...

The Other Side said...

Neat post
Being a girl , I am not angry after reading your post. Even I have been in such a situation. I feel there is nothing wrong in considering these parameters while deciding your partner.
But not every guy is as innocent as you mention in the post.
Its difficult to find any S/W guy who is ready to marry a school teacher, earning 5K per month.

Anonymous said...

Strongly feel that this has been written from one person's perspective and things are not always right or the same :):) as I have seen several break-ups too... and the reasons from a girl's side, tho not always, are genuine at times....guys are never the goody goody types or true lover types to their girl as they seem to be :):) so dont agree completely with the write-up :):)

Shabs said...

Coincidentally something like that was going in my mind..happy to read it.. but being a gal something vice versa happened with me.. guys allways like " the most slimest and the sleekest" as in your script the gal needs " the richest".. it really pains when something like that happens..

Einsteinophile said...

Pretty detailed analysis!! :)

IMHO, exceptions are not examples.

neha vish said...

This post is just disgusting.

Venkat said...

dude : whats ur point ?

if the sucker's dumb enough to fall for the whims of a girl : he damn well deserves everything he gets and more..

stop patronizing these idiots...!

borat sagdiyev said...

I'm think its Western CULture's fault. Girls want to be like boys like they show in all movies, this is very bad. This makes both the girls and the boys very unhappy in the very end. they should learn to respect man for being man so men can respect woman for being woman. how can man respect women indulging in so called premarital sexy?

roadsideromeo said...

http://india.crispynews.com/article/show/16965

thts an analysis of desperately u need sex, contact king to organise a pimpcamp.

dude u seriously preenting on markting thru blogs? coz ur doin a jolly goodjob of markeitng urself

Anonymous said...

So true. Three weeks stay in Chennai and Coimbatore, I find that the girls dressing is decent but their behaviour and thinking... not as decent as they look.

But then the guys are to blame to. This is what happens when you go for looks and only looks.

Anonymous said...

yooo karthik. I would say you have done a good job. The girls may call you disgusting. From a guys perspective, I perfecty agree with your arguments.

Nandhu said...

hey,
what was that? a thesis? u never got to screw anything did u?

Gayathri said...

Here are some of the observations that I've made and have received inputs from my friends too.
1) Majority of the guys in Chennai behave as if they are the stud of the city, and they need to stand for the election of the "enjoyable and eligible bachelor" even though their mind must be harbouring a thousand "sick"(as they call it) thoughts.
2) Basically most of them pretend to be the "oh-I'm-so-understanding-and caring-and-loving" types. And roughly 90% of the guys just have sex on their minds whenever they are with a girl whom they are attracted to. If girls behaved as if hormones never existed in them, guys have raging hormones.
3) Unlike guys, girls like to go around with rakhi bhaiyas. It is the guys who are scared of rakhis and run a mile at the sight of a girl with a rakhi. About spending money, if you feel that a girl will stay with you only if you spend money, who is a fool? You? Or, the girl?
Guys look for the following things in stage 1(while in college)

1)Beautiful and fair girl
2) Somebody who can go on listening to them.
3) Somebody who can talk dirty via SMS to them.
4) Somebody who can do their record work.
That's it. I got to give credit to the guys. They don't expect anything big from girls except "that" thing.
Regarding marriage, it was complete bullshit and I don't want to waste my energy for talking against something that isn't concrete.
MY FINAL WORD
Gone are the days when guys were satisfied with a mediocre looking girl who was a typical servant for them. These days, they want a beautiful girl with great knockers, intelligent, working, and minting money, and also take care of the home, the kids and the MAN OF THE HOUSE. And for heaven's sake, it's not called innocence when a man is 24 years old. It's ignorance.
Sudha Murthy saw the intelligence the guy had!! If a girl sees the same in a guy, I'm sure she will stick by.

PS: IF YOU ARE A MAN WHO'S NOT INFURIATED READING THE ABOVE POST, THEN YOU ARE NOT MAN ENOUGH AND THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED MORE MEN LIKE YOU...

Sudha said...

you are doing a lot of random generalization here. ofcourse there r ppl who care only about getting married to a green card. no denying that. but this population measures up to about 5% of all girls. if u did'nt meet anyone outside this sample, your life is just sad.

smiley said...

dude, u sound sorrowful like the fox who tried for the grapes, could not get them and said all grapes are sour. Don't worry about the gals going for the green. If u r sincere u will always find a gal who loves u for what u r :)

Alice In Wonderland said...

Hey,

You sound like a guy who has been at the raw end in all these Guy, Gal equations....my sympathies with you man..

Just in case no gals have told you...guys can act the exact way you have attributed to gals and you will find loads of examples if only you had chosen your sample better...your sample is so obviously biased.

For the record, guys can be as much bitches as gals (in your post) can be...using the gal as an ego-boost to fuel their pathetic self-esteem...to look "cool" among his pals...and still tail the gal with no emotions for her...just for that glorified "one thing.."..

And when tired of his piggy sick behavior, the gal decides to move on in life, the guy again has a problem...hurt ego!!! Cant take it that the gal who said he mattered the most in life has actually left!

Aint it a shocker? And he calls her opportunitistic, stupid..etc etc...maybe he wants to convince himself that he didnt make a mistake by letting her go.

So, the gal is Gal1, by your description? Who is the hypocrite now?

You have not included this guy angle in your post...pls do.

Anonymous said...

Hey
I dont blog at all.. if i were to write on this.. i would definitely write the same

rAKeSH said...

@theotherside

"Its difficult to find any S/W guy who is ready to marry a school teacher, earning 5K per month."
i dont know where ppl come up with such ideas.

@Einsteinophile

The world is full of exceptions, so it applies.

@kartik kannan
Dude. nice writeup. And a nice follow up by gayathri. But as you said there is no end to this debate. I would like to have more responses to this article.

Wise Old Man said...

use a spell checker.

ashwin sundar said...

Absolutely true!!!

Caffeinism said...

You are being too general and I could show u a few hunder samples to prove wht Gayathri has said is true... but its not worth all the time and effort...

And you wht at end of the day " It's all in the game dude" See the humor in life and live...

cheers

pradeep said...

Hi ,

May i know why you have portraited Iyer girls so cheaply... !!! .

Bala said...

Hiiiiiii....

First of all... hats off man...
really an amazing post, today morning only, me and my friend were talkin abt this and when i hapnd to read ur blog,i thought "oh! sum1 overheard us" lol...
Actually, FACT is not da word, everythin is trus, am not tellin this coz am a guy, but as u told, even we guys have to change a little, we should learn to see inside.. dat v aren doin.... hope will change after this...

One thing you must note.. very simple example, just look at the comments for ur post, most of da anonymous ones says, its a girl, the way its bein written..and see, no girl has accepted or agreed to a certain extent..it shows them...

still a lot to go about girls man... hella lot...

and i wld like comment on one of the comments by gayathri..typical FEMALE CHAUVINIST... (sorry , dat cld be rude)but still...
one thing i want to mention is abt to wat she proclaimed abt rakhi baiya's... first of all am askin, wat da hell , do these girls think of themselves, they don know how to see relationships itself, they don know da difference between a friend and lover, they mess up..to get themselves clear, they tie rakhi..and no guy will run away frm rakhi unless he loves her, yeah ..now u may ask, if u love, then y dont u tell, see some are shy..not everyone is bold enough to agree..it will take time dats all.. but they will...but, a guy if he picturise some girl as a his girl frnd, then till his death , she will be picturised as the same... he wont chamge the status..to sister or frnd.but this is not same with a girl..she will shift, if their love is not a success then then dat guy wil be added in her brother's list.. oh..god how they can shift this...

will continue abt this in my blog..soon..


nice post..very..kool man... i don think, u wil be readin this comment, but if at all... then, i will be da happiest...
a lot to write.... will get bac soon....

Anand Iyer said...

thats really a gr8 research dude... most of the points that u ve come up wit is bang on target... not all girls r of the type u ve mentioned and not all guys r the innocent ones that u seem to notice.. i ve seen a couple where both ditched each other for different people.... those kind of people really r the ones who spoil the entire crowd...

so girls after reading this, if u really agree that its mostly true jus pass on a word to ur friends who r doing the things that karthik has mentioned and even guys can pass on a word to their friends.. lets hope this makes a change in the hearts of the poeple who read this...

continue the good work dude... all the best...

Anonymous said...

Karthik, your rambling account is as confused as you seem to be. It's time to join the real world. Nothing is ever completely black or white. Girls are mercenary & guys are the victims.....puhleese, grow up.

Venkat said...

thats really a gr8 research dude... most of the points that u ve come up is true.
so girls after reading this, if u really agree that its mostly true jus pass on a word to ur friends who r doing the things that karthik has mentioned and even guys can pass on a word to their friends.. lets hope this makes a change in the hearts of the poeple who read this...

Kartik Kannan said...

Thanks Venkat.

Madhavi Balakrishnan said...

Definitely a case of sour grapes!!

Shyam said...

Of course, guys who sleep with a girl and then gossip about her with their male friends dont exist, do they? Also, evidently in your world there are no guys who consider their girlfriends good enough to sleep with but not to marry because - of course - they're "bad" girls in the first place for having sex before *gasp* marriage!

Face it - there are as many cruel and greedy guys as there are girls. Possibly there are many more stupid guys than there are girls. If any guy has to spend money on a girl to "keep" her, and is stupid enough not to stay away from her, he really should not step into the gene pool at all, pal, with her or any other girl!

Face it - it's not all black on the girls' side and pure virginal white on the guys'.

desi witch said...

your friend kept an account of how much he spent over 3 years on his girl friend? no wonder she dumped him!

Rajavanya said...

First of all... hats off to the blogger... coz every word of it is true !!!

@gals_who_commented:- Well, all the stories about guys what you have quoted, have been existing from 1947, but why has the writer and many others started writing like this? Because of the recent changes in the (majority)gals' attitudes...

@everyone_including_blogger:- What i learnt from my friends' mistakes is this... Where ever there is a relationship failure, one side is soo much in unconditional love, other side gets carried away, because they compare materialistic things like money, power, post etc... from the new competitors :P...

Though this happens in a majority by gals to guys. I mean this dumping for a better person business... Like you said girls have become very very materialistic today... All that matters is money, power, looks etc.

I have had some friends(gals) justifying their dumping act by telling, The guy is not responsible, he won't be able to take care of me, keep me happy blah blah...

Let me tell you something, True love is not about just being together with happiness, its about helping your partner get better in life, staying with them in times of crisis and bad situation, be supportive etc..

Rajavanya said...

In todays world having sex with more than one person doesn't seem to be a great mistake at all, which really is tragic..

I have written a novice post about the modern day girls in especially Bangalore...
http://prasansvision.blogspot.com/2006/12/is-this-india.html

priti said...

I cant help but agree with you on this issue....when you talk about guys being very open and honest after a point of time and gals being a hypocrite almost all the times dont you think the societal conditioning has a big hand to it???? To be very frank a man in the Indian society could voice his opinions out loud whereas a woman had to keep it to herself (of course things have been changing now)...so woman being the so called hypocrite has "evolved" over a period of time ...and is not an inherent part of them...My pride was deeply hurt when I read this article...but the sad part is most of it is true in case of both men and women alike. Good one

Suraj Kumar said...

@gal readers,

Dear Friends,

I dont want to justify all those said by Karthick Kannan.

But, as understood by me, he does'nt like the culture of both boys and girls. He is not pin pointing girls(it is for boys also). Its my opinion, opinion differs with persons persceptive towards life.

Do not fight, Its a never ending fight.

Regards

Suraj Kumar

Statcounter Tracker