kartik kannan's space on the web

Love me /Love me not

These days I seem to be wonderstruck by the relative instability and complex issues that come in way of a relationship.A relationship and the variables that play a huge part seem to be tougher to decipher than fermats last theorem.Though I dont exactly play "loveline" as Malaika Arora does, but I do get to hear snippets of gossip from the horse's mouth, I have seen some very interesting observations over the last 2-3 years.Whatever has been gathered here has been more so compiled from all the observations and inputs observed by me and some of my close friends, over last week's college re union.Some day when I experience it fully, I'd certainly be able to throw more light, but anyway here are some observations.

1) Majority girls in Chennai, behave as if hormones never existed in them, and they need to stand for the election of the most "virtued girl" even though their mind must be harbouring a thousand "evil"(as they call it) thoughts.

2) Basically most of them pretend to be the "seedhi-saadhi " types and even in the rare case those girls come out of their shells all their meetings with the guy seems to have a clandestine feel to it. Roughly around 30% who have been given excessive freedom or those who have been subjected to excessive claustrophobia while schooling end up in premarital sex,which I dont say is a crime, but still has a clandestine and sinning touch to it, the way its committed.

3) Girls after going around with a guy and vice versa decide to dump and move each other as if they were tissue papers. Eg 1, Guy 1 spends 50000 rs over 3 years on girl one and they spend a lovely time going around and all off a sudden girl 1 slowly lessens contact citing work pressure and when the contact is not in full blast mode, she dashes of a letter to all her friends , with guy 1 in the list that she is getting married to a guy who earns 7000$ in the US working for a multinational firm.The expression on guy 1's poor face is priceless and starts behaving like the rakhi bhaiyya scrapping friendly messages on Orkut. SMS is now vogue, as the girl has no time for her former paramour, and is conveniently busy with the new GUY 2.

Guy 1, spends time curses himself and slowly settles down in a another job, and behaves as if he was "the caring bhayya" all along. I have seen 2 real life incidents like this. One such GUY 1 took my advice to deal with situation as I knew Girl 1 all along my college life.

Infact I have met both guy 1 and guy 2 types of 2 different stories both happening to be employees of my former company.

Net Inference

Girls look for the following things in stage 1(while college)


1)Smart and fair or TDH (Tall, dark and handsome )
2) Somebody who can go on talking to them.
3) Somebody who can forward endless messages to them via SMS.
4) Somebody who sends what they call "cute " forwards initially and then shifts gears to "adult " forwards.
5) Somebody who can drop them at various places and spend on them.
6) Somebody who is intelligent enough to use engineering maths as a shortcut to get to know the girl better.
7)Somebody who studies well and has a good name.
8)Somebody who has a good build

If you think you are well versed in all 7 points and have just won the battle,think again...the wicked game has just started and after that starts the elimination rounds.

Girl is 21 years old and when she looks for a job, you may not be in constant touch..as there are other employees vying for the "flirting" time allocation from the girl.For the ones who dont get "flirting" slots , consolation prizes of "smiles" and"cho chweet" are magnanimously distributed.Then the girl's parents start the Groom Hunt Program for their daughter.Incase the girl has give you a flying kiss or given you that seductive look some time back in college, those brownie points dont count when the girls dad starts talking,as obviously such achievments cant be flaunted openly in the Indian Society.


Here go the requirements

1) Whether the guy has the ammunition to start the next generation or not he must be from Infosys,TCS or Wipro.If not the guy must show his next quarter plans of moving into those companies or must at the bare minium be from a CTS,Polaris or some other known Indian IT Company.Incase the parents are knowledgable , they would also consider Oracle and Microsoft whic are otherwise relegated to the last position as parents havent heard of it.

2)You can bypass the above parameters by having a Green card,( and not the red colour free ICICI card that was given to you when the card salesman was convinced that you are the next generation GOLD Card spender, but sorry dad's with girls are obsessed with the colour green )since that would increase your brand value 1000 fold the other candidates applying.A couple of my cosuin sisters have chosen this lovely route to settle in the US and are still proud of their masterstrokes in selecting the US Groom.

So if you work in Avadi-Infotech or Ambattur computers , I am sorry you are rejected, you can try out the 5 rs Iyer Bride list available on the platform of Mambalam railway station and look for nice fathers who are yet to see the power of a "Software Groom".


4)Agreed its become common for people of both the sexes to flirt which each other, but what beats me is the attitude of people when say PERSON 1 proposes to PERSON 2 and PERSON 2 behaves in a hallucinatory mode and stares in disbelief.

Last week, my friend decided to try out proposing a rather well endowed female in his office and the girl shot back saying that she would complain to the HR Manager. I was shocked to hear that.The guy and the girl used to exchange furtive glances at each other in office, but still the girl behaved in a very odd manner.Anyway its a strange thing with that company actually starting a "people first " campaign and here are these 2, who happen to be in stone age.


People see too many movies these days and a "proposal" seemingly to them is a culture shock for which they need to show varying degrees of twisted faces and bigger eyeballs,often taking the cue from the melange of emotions a Miss World/Universe would exude.

5) Girl 1 says no to Guy 1 , who was her good friend lately, and keeps flirting with other folks having a good back up base.Girl 1 actually has a Guy 1a whom she had a relationship with a few years back and is confused about deciding about guy1 or guy 1a

The girl then uses her mathematical skills that she learnt last in class 10 and arrives at the follwing equation

a)As on date guy 1a is still as per the contract still comitted to me ,but Guy1a earns lesser and is not in a position to marry me and support me, and more importantly she cant live the life of an armani,gucci and hidesign with Guy1a.Nopes this supporting thingy with her sal is certainly not the in-thing.

b) She now explores the parental angle, and tells her story home and folks at home say Guy 2 is anyday better, he atleast has a decent job and works in a big company and causally jokes that guy 1 is better than guy 1a.

c)With the marriagible age limit increasing for the girl, she decides to woo guy1 who is pleasantly suprised and shocked with the volte face in 1 week, where he was rejected a week back because he was not her "types" . He is on cloud 9 and the girl is also on cloud 9, coz she has played a masterstroke that has made her peaceful and nothing is at an anti-parental angle. One thing to note is when girls are confused over guys the lottery over the guy is decided in the most silliest of ways as heard from one of my friends.One way is to take the parental angle of least resistance and the other is to take some small incident viewing it as ruthless as a redundant HR process to do the elimination to just give a reason to a guy.

The final word.

My only worry is at the alarming number of such female hypocrites who enter the marriage and relationship market,screwing a persons peace.My sincere feeling at the limited sample size observed is that the girls of today sans a few sensible folks are hypocrites to the core and the number of such people are increasing alarmingly in number.Gone are the days when both the male and the female led simple lives,after marriage as in a R.K Narayan novel, but today's fast world is giving us newer equations and complex variables.Half of this can be stopped if Indian parents can be more open about sex education and educate their children and not make them a claustrophobic pawn who is fed on IIT JEE cracking texts and pressurised to learn by rote.Unfortunately todays Indian parentage and the education system are producing females of a certain hypocratic charaecter that seems to look dangerous.


So are girls only to blame? If you ask me , there are certain guys who also exhibit the same hypocriteness throughout childhood, but at some point they become honest about their pathetic life so far, by getting to know the hard fact that, calculus stays the same whether its 18 or 24 years , but girls dont.Guys are innocent beyond a point , as they dont behave so yucky ...(may be sample size is short, but this is one major thing I have observed). If girls look at so many parameters , guys hoesntly sometime succumb to a smile or the physical assets which may sound a little unparlimentary, but the fact is, guys are a lot better than the modern day female.


Todays girls want everything on their plate,from the husband being a wealthy lad with a green card.


Gone are the days when Sudha Murthy's love story with Naryanamurthy but little money, but billions of dreams sowed in.They rose up in life together sharing the pitfalls and the roses and are 1 couple for whom the material world has changed little since their courtship days.People have forgotten the true essence of love and a relationship and every damn parent of a girl seems to follow a formulaic approach to a safe dollar lifestyle.If you ask me whether my life would beany different, I can only say that I will defintely make an honest attempt to look for a partner who is true to herself and who accepts people as they are without showing glimpses of "todays modern day- self proclaimed bharatiya naaris".Its going to take some time to spot the ripe ones among the rotten lot, but it would be one task worth doing rather than fall into the quagmire of such false relationships.

So Bouqets and brickbats can start flowing in the comments box below.

PS: IF YOU ARE A GIRL, WHO'S NOT ANGRY READING THE ABOVE POST THEN THE WORLD NEEDS MORE GIRLS LIKE YOU...