kartik kannan's space on the web

Response to Love me-Love me not

This is assuming a very HUM TUM feel to the discussion



Read on

Gayathri, a Blogger from Hyderabad reacts to my article with aplomb as she sees it.

Here are some of the observations that I've made and have received inputs from my friends too.
The ONES IN RED are her views, while the one's in black italic's are my responses to her comments

1)) Majority of the guys in Chennai behave as if they are the stud of the city, and they need to stand for the election of the "enjoyable and eligible bachelor" even though their mind must be harbouring a thousand "sick"(as they call it) thoughts.

Agreed that some folks do exhibit that kind of a behaviour,this is true to an extent,and the guys who actually go on to feel proud of their bachelor hood are the one's who have failed to hit on somebody or some one who gets turned on by code than just women. Just as I have pointed out hypocrisy in a certain section of females, certain section of men too are hypocrites as Gayathri puts it.But the problem lies in the fact that girls/Ladies approach hypocrisy with a vengeance and adrenaline of being illtreated a few generations ago and some of that anger instead of boiling the milk, leads to spillage which is of no great help to either of the sexes.

2) Basically most of them pretend to be the "oh-I'm-so-understanding-and caring-and-loving" types. And roughly 90% of the guys just have sex on their minds whenever they are with a girl whom they are attracted to. If girls behaved as if hormones never existed in them, guys have raging hormones.

Do you know why we do the "oh-I'm-so-understanding-and-caring-and-loving", its because you girls expect it and cant fend for yourself. Just as guys feel having a girlfriend by their side adds brand value, so is the feeling for a girl.By the way, Guys havving 90% of the time sexual thoughts, is in keeping with trend that mankind has treaded all along. You Ladies have the neccesary physical endowments that attract the men and they will naturally be attracted.If you expect some guy not to be attracted, then either the guy is blind not to see below your neck,or you seriously lack the oomph factor.Belive me ..even if you call a guy a rakhi bhayya, he at some point doesnt notice you for your physical well being, then gosh, mankind is set to vanish from planet earth. This is like having a Rasgolla on your table and being asked to admire the cup, when hunger strikes.You being the Rasagolla would not know the feeling of the person outside who is persuaded not to eat it.

Secondly when girls behave as if no hormones were there, I meant to say that a degree of hypocrism and the effect of the so called Indian norms makes women like that, when they can very well use their new found "independence" to assert themselves, the way they actuallya re.In India since double standards exist, some of the women, dont want to get the tag of a slut or an antisocial element as the marriage market is decided by lots of non linear factors, so they decide to play safe.It is at this point that I am saying, that women should be the way tey are, and not all of a sudden shift gears to the "Bharatiya Naari" Image.

They should exude the original exterior and not mask themsleves under the cloak of a woman, who says "Virginity is Dignity", when its the case of "lack of oppurtunity"

The problem with some vested minds of men in the Indian society is that these shameless men, who look out for Aishwarya Rai's with virginal qualities and well endowed "family ladies" , should actually not be encouraged by women, who at the time of marriage lose all that vigour and vitality of femisnm and equal talk. If certain women are the way they are in terms of frank talk or dating guys,How many men want to marry a woman who is honest, tells a man openly if she's interested in him, and talks intelligently and assertively on various topics? Many may want to bed her but will hesitate to introduce her to mom, or think of a life with her. There are umpteen of these typical Rajnikant movies against this type of woman - demonizing her and idealizing the hero-and-snakepit-worshipping-semi-educated-subservient-woman. An assertive no-nonsense woman is dubbed an "aggressive" woman in India. So such women either leave or learn to act like virtuous holier-than-thou characters, manipulate, give the appropriate sweet talk leading people on till the next better guy arrives. All I am saying , is that these women should assert themselves better rather than blaming the society to get under the cloak and then start complaining.If you have a problem stand up for it, dear ladies.

On your statement that guys have raging hormones, yes its true..we do have raging hormones and its better to show it than hide these emotions.


3) Unlike guys, girls like to go around with Rakhi Bhaiyas. It is the guys who are scared of rakhis and run a mile at the sight of a girl with a Rakhi. About spending money, if you feel that a girl will stay with you only if you spend money, who is a fool? You? Or, the girl?

Wow we just re-invented the wheel.Girls go around with Rakhi Bhayyas just to make sure that they can flirt round endlessly and the rakhi Bhayya wont do anything since his failure and inability to elicit interest has been labelled as a Bhaiyya.Now the girl can use the Rakhi Bhayya to ward off other guys.Which sane guy would want other guys to succeed at getting a girl he didnt get. Ever since the british left India, no body has perfected the art of Divide and Rule as perfect as the women-folk.

Regarding being a fool, oh ya..when the guy loses the girl, his inabilityto choose the right girl makes him a fool, but the dumping act of the girl doesn't make her a genius either.She remains a fool for equal measure too, my dear as a rolling stone gathers no moss.

Guys look for the following things in stage 1(while in college)

1)Beautiful and fair girl
2) Somebody who can go on listening to them.
3) Somebody who can talk dirty via SMS to them.
4) Somebody who can do their record work.


That's it. I got to give credit to the guys. They don't expect anything big from girls except "that" thing.Regarding marriage, it was complete bullshit and I don't want to waste my energy for talking against something that isn't concrete.

Stage -1 Yes, guys also look for sensible girls and girls who can feel that they have hormones, so if that requirement is met, thats more than enough.Beatiful and fair may just make you noticed among guys.

Yes- Point 2 , no opposition..Guys talk a lot and want to be heard.Women are said to be better emotionally and to give advice.Thats pretty much why you see "Malalika Arora Khan" rocking on MTV Loveline when it comes giving advice and to listen.

Point -3 - We'd love girls who talk "dirty(as you folks call it).But we'd gave that position to someone we know well rather than start messaging all of a sudden to a lady armed with a mobile.

Point 4- "That thing" is one of the loveliest things that a man and a woman aspire for to consummate the relationship.It is not that girls dont enjoy the "that thing", but given their biological compolexities, they'd play safe. Any sane girl/Lady would love to have "That thing" if a man can give her 2 assurances

1) No Pregnancy
2) No disclosure about the act to fellow guys.

and if you think you are giving me the reason that Girls still dont enjoy the "that thing", try this for a change. Go to the nearest Medical store and get a pack of Johnson's ear buds and try softly putting it in your ear and removing the wax by finely rotating the bud to clean the depths of the ear.If possible play some romantic music to go by that and I bet more than using the hand inside the ear, the sensation inside the ear would be more sensual, than the effort the hands make to hold the bud.I hope you get the drift in the same of light of your "That thing".

MY FINAL WORD

Gone are the days when guys were satisfied with a mediocre looking girl who was a typical servant for them. These days, they want a beautiful girl with great knockers, intelligent, working, and minting money, and also take care of the home, the kids and the MAN OF THE HOUSE.

This is what I would call an overdose of KANK, not every family can be like the Saran's , and these days JAVA guys choose DOT NET girls in the marriage market, just because both of them feel that they can understand each others project pressures and live together rather than have a woman who would be out of Sync. But if ask me why JAVA and DOT NET, well thats another rule of the marriage market where both the sexes are to blame, that they feel will work.

Life in today's fast moving world just needs pro active people in marriage, thats why both guys and girls choose partners from a certain economic background and work related background.Its not about guys outsourcing functions to the married woman.That was ages ago when the Man of the house had this rather yucky and commanding tone conveyed to his better half.Agreed Men have behaved like idiots in the past, but things are changing with the modern day marriages having responsibilities equally shared.If you havennt seen this happen,I suggest you change the "Mughal-e-Azam" DVD which is still rusting in your DVD player, that seems to give you this archaic image.



And for heaven's sake, it's not called innocence when a man is 24 years old. It's ignorance.Sudha Murthy saw the intelligence the guy had!! If a girl sees the same in a guy, I'm sure she will stick by.

PS: IF YOU ARE A MAN WHO'S NOT INFURIATED READING THE ABOVE POST, THEN YOU ARE NOT MAN ENOUGH AND THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED MORE MEN LIKE YOU...


We have discussed enough on the inanities of both Men and Women and there are more factors tahn mere intelligence that decide who's in and who's not.So at this point I see no end to this debate as Men as well as Women tend to have their inexplicable reasons to be the way they are at a higher level. All I can do is laugh at the variety tha Human kind has to offer in forms of men and women.


It was quite a joyous experience writing both the pieces, in knowing and ascertaining views and comments from both the sexes.I can take great pride from the fact that I have been extremely honest frm my side and have not displayed any levels of hypocracy while making this post.Wherever it is due, in both the posts I have brought out the faults of the men too, but the article was not to put a point by point comparison , but to squarely put what I saw, a burgeoning trend where modern day Girls sometime rely on factors other than rationality to make decesions.

My article has recieved a lot comments for being frank at the same time a lot of flak for being chauvinistic without which there would have been no sense in writing the article.

Hey , This post and the reactions stemming from it have not made me angry in anyway, but a lot more wiser than I started writing this article and to be really honest, THE WORLD NEEDS MORE MEN LIKE ME, to make it a better place.Most of my friends from the opposite sex at either workplace or college friends would also vouch for that, as they know how much of a difference I make when I talk to them.